PowerPoint Presentation

[Audio] Chapter 5 - Saturday I sluggishly made it to the Krusty Krab but early since I had to unlock it for Squidward and the fry cook. Then thought to myself, at least I'll be able to sleep in tomorrow since only us officers work on Sundays. On the way, I called a cleanup crew to remove the disguised bags of cocaine and remaining patties from the restaurant. Once I unlocked the front door, I decided to walk around the outside to unlock the back door too and assess the storage room mess. As soon as I turned the key I quickly remembered that I needed to disable the burglar alarm. I ran back out front as fast as I could to pull the secret latch but it was too late. An unimpressed crisply burnt Squidward stared at me through the window. We locked eyes as I slowly and awkwardly pulled the latch to disable the rest of the system. He piped up as soon as I walked through the doors. "I'd rather work for a crook that remembers shit than a forgetful law-abiding citizen". "Sorry Squid. It won't happen again". The Fry Cook punched in shortly after and the three of us cleaned up the storage room mess. While cleaning, I brought up the cocaine secret and that everything would be removed. I told the fry cook that he would begin making new patties but without adding the so-called 'White Cocoa Powder'. While still in the storage room, we could hear a muffled commotion outside. As we walked back into the main eating area, we could see whales lined up against the windowed perimeter of the building holding PLM signs chanting "Porpoise Lives Matter". There were also fish in the protest showing solidarity. The protest seemed to be led by Don the Whale who was holding a megaphone. He is super jacked and you don't want to mess with him. I told everyone to stay inside for the time being. I agree with everything they stand for. But change will only happen if you protest the Mayor's building, not a restaurant. Then laws could be implemented like banning sea cow meat and finding alternatives. They had been showing up here frequently since all meat, like our patties, comes from sea cows. All whales are vegetarian, otherwise, it would be cannibalism. This is the reason why Pearl turned the Krusty Krab into a salad bar when she was in charge [66]. It's understandable for this minority population to be upset. Sea cows may be the least sentient whales, but they're still whales. The law that allows sea cow slaughter is only in place because fish make up the majority of the population. Some argue that, if flipped, pigfish will be slaughtered instead. I don't buy that because whales will still maintain their vegetarian diet. I continue to eat Krabby Patties but I will happily give it up if laws change to give sea cows their freedom. No customers were willing to walk through the crowd of protesters so we spent most of the day cleaning. The cleanup crew showed up and wheeled out the bags of cocaine plus all of the patties in the freezer. We finished cleaning the storage room and then cleaned up the eating area and washroom. By the time we were done, the crowd had left and customers were filing in. Squidward and the fry cook went to the register and kitchen.

[Audio] Chapter 6 – Sunday I tried to sleep in and start my solo shift later but I woke up before my alarm in a panic from my reoccurring nightmare. I tried to sleep in and start my solo shift later but I woke up before my alarm in a panic from my reoccurring nightmare. Since my heart was racing and I was filled with unsettling energy, I decided to walk to the Krusty Krab early while contemplating how I could improve my sleep. It was raining so I grabbed my umbrella but it wasn't a downpour. The tapping of rain on my umbrella relaxed me. I got to the Krusty Krab at roughly the same time as starting a typical shift bright and early in the morning. I stumbled across another note as I unlocked the glass double doors. It read, 'If you touch Rex, I will boil you in hot oil. I will rip out your heart and serve it to your mother, Mrs. SquarePants, on a platter for dinner'. This note struck a nerve. Not because it was more vulgar and more threatening but because it involved my deceased mother. I don't like to bring it up by my mom was an unfortunate casualty of a drive by shooting in downtown Bikini Bottom. I wasn't a cop yet but I was in the process of becoming one and that furthered my motivation. My old man was extra proud on my first day serving justice but didn't want to lose me to crooks as well. I will never forget his advice: 'Keep one in the chamber and the safety off when equipped'. I've stayed true to my dad's words to this day. Come to think of it, the shootout likely involved the Mrs. Puff's gang getting rid of outsiders working the corners. I disabled the burglar alarm and walked inside. I called the Chief while putting the umbrella in my office. When he picked up I immediately said, "Hey Chief, I received another note and this time it was a death threat. The good news is it looks like Mrs. Puff wasn't informed which will give Nancy and Tony the upper hand when busting her. The bad news is Rex's gang must know that we're coming which is gonna make our job much harder. Chief, I'm not calling on just SOME squads. I need you to round up every squad from every police station in Bikini Bottom. As for the Rock Bottom squads, I'll call them and..." I was cut off by an air raid siren..

[Audio] I could hear the Chief sigh over the phone and then say, "Furk. Do you hear that Joe?". "Oh I hear that Chief. We've never had two Alaskan Bull Worms in the same month [67]. Never mind just over a week apart". "Listen Joe I'm gonna do what you said and round up all the squads in Bikini Bottom to help you bust Rex when the time is right. But you gotta do what I say. Obviously, we have to deal with this first but once we get everyone off the streets and safely in their homes, you are to follow your God damn orders and seek shelter in the central station with the others. I don't want this to end up like the last time where you risked your furking life on the front lines with the military". "The military needs our help. They suffer too many casualties from each attack. We know how to fire guns just as well as those jarheads". "You're my best detective and I can't afford to lose you nor any cop in that matter. Plus nothing has made it past our defense system and, for your information, zero casualties were reported last time". "Maybe it's because I was there backing them up". I said half-jokingly half seriously. "No smart ass. It's because the air strike you witnessed was a new addition to our defense system which used to rely on just tanks and a rocket launcher team. Either way, the basic handgun you fire is useless". "You're forgetting that the system includes a firing squad of infantry who fire bullets similar to mine and every bullet counts". "Why don't you be a good officer and listen to your orders like the rest of 'em. This shit is far too dangerous for an officer with no military training". "Ain't nothing, AIN'T NOTHING is too big or too ornery to deter me from my duty of keeping this city safe [67]. We don't wear our badges to protect some of the city some of the time. Our badge means we put our lives on the line to protect citizens from all threats so helping the military is part of the job. You're just a selfish Chief that wants to limit an officer's role so that they are safe and able to solve YOUR cases making YOU look good. I'm joining the firing squad to help keep them alive and everyone that lives in Bikini Bottom". The Chief started screaming on the phone, "Fuurrk! I swear if I find you out on the front lines again I will take away your God damn badge. You are following my orders or you're fired! You hear me? You are following...". I hung up the phone. While chatting I already put on my badge so I just grabbed my Glock 19 from my desk with the safety off..

[Audio] I sprinted to my refurbished cruiser and floored it. The sun was rising but the dark clouds were blocking some of the light. Rain droplets pelting my cruiser windshield became a heavy downpour as I drove through Bikini Bottom's inner city with my windshield wipers keeping me from driving blind. I don't mind the rain, as its peaceful nature clears my mind, but heavy downpours now trigger Deja'Vu followed by dream flashbacks. I typically have to fight them off if a situation, like this, calls for concentration. It was a chaotic scene of people running around in panic, some slipping and falling in puddles. Officers cleared the streets and escorted people to their homes. Every so often I could hear an officer shout "Get to your basements!". I parked my cruiser and helped out as much as I could. I even fireman carried an old woman to her boat. Once the main streets were cleared, the officers started peeling away in their cruisers but I managed to run up to one of the boats. When I got close, the passenger window rolled down. "Where are you guys all going?". I asked. "We're gonna quickly check some side streets then head to the central station to take shelter in the basement", said the officer riding shotgun. "Anyone wanna come with me and help me fight the beast?". "We salute you, Joe, for your effort and your bravery. As officers, we put our lives on the line every day and this should be no different. But the Chief is strict and we can't afford to lose our jobs, especially with kids". "Yup. That's understandable". Then the officer driving chimed in. "You know what. Keep your boat parked here since the Chief checks the GPS. We'll give you a lift to the front lines and just tell the Chief that was part of our patrol route". I hopped into the back seat "Thanks. I can always count on you guys to have my back. I'll make sure the Chief doesn't know that you helped me". They dropped me off at the desolate outskirts of Bikini Bottom. As I stepped out of the cruiser, I tried to thank them for the ride but the sound of three fighter jets drowned out my voice so we just gave each other nods of respect. They drove off and I looked over at the planes that just flew by. They nose-dived one after the other firing bullets at the Alaskan Bull Worm then pulling up while dropping several bombshells. The bullets seemed to not phase the worm at all and the bombs only shook it up a little bit. The third jet was about to pull up but the worm stood on its tail and bit it out of mid-air. The pilot ejected and parachuted out of harm's way. I was excited because the bombs weren't released yet so swallowing the plane would cause an internal explosion bringing down the worm. But surprisingly, it didn't swallow and instead chucked the plane right at the pilot who had just landed safely. My hopes of him surviving the crush were ruined when the bombs exploded. This was weird. Alaskan bull worms always eat everything they possibly can. The tank fighters were also having trouble. Some were already crushed, on fire, or flipped over while others were still firing shells but to no avail. The worm chomped through a few and thrashed its tail to destroy the rest of them. Medics were running back with badly wounded tank.

[Audio] All of our bullets were deflecting off rather than piercing flesh. Some of our bullets were ricocheting into buildings and shattering windows. The sound of gunshots and glass shattering sent Deja'Vu chills down my spine but I pushed through my momentary disassociation. Usually, bull worms swallow their kill but this one was leaving all the dead and injured on the ground. I desperately got out of the way by climbing the fire escape of a twelve-floor apartment next to a squad that was screaming and running in fear as nothing they did could stop the worm from chomping them. The rain made me slip and fall on the metal stairs but I got back up and kept ascending as fast as I could. It was sad watching the honorable die so easily and my heart sank since this was the first time a worm truly penetrated our city's Iron Bird defense system. By the time I got to the sixth floor I had brewed up a plan and courage oozed out of my pores. I was about to jump on the worm's back but all of a sudden it raised its head standing upright, gave a loud but unfamiliar roar, and started thrashing to destroy the buildings on its left and right. Its tail was whipping and hitting the first floors while its head rocked side to side smashing the top floors. Luckily I was on the middle floor. I pressed myself up against the wall to avoid the falling pieces of the building and I closed my eyes as debris sprayed into my face. While my eyes were closed, I attempted to gather my breath and calm down, but the sound of more bullets firing and glass shattering kept triggering unsettling Deja'Vu causing more flashbacks and my anxiety to spike. I opened my eyes, reloaded my Glock, and fired an entire clip at the worm's midsection which was directly in front of me and close enough to produce some dents. I could hear gunners on the roof firing their assault rifle rounds at the worm's head. It wasn't until a few of the remaining rocket launcher soldiers fired at the worm making contact from the rear that it gave another strange-sounding roar and got back down to its horizontal position. It's a good thing too because after a few more whacks both apartments would have come crumbling down resulting in many casualties including myself. I seized the moment and jumped on the back of the beast but this was no beast. It was a metal robot. I crawled over to a tiny hatch door and pulled as hard as I could ripping it open. The hole was so small I could only fit my hand and arm inside but that was all I needed to reach down deep and pull out someone who pretended to be my friend one day and ultimately used me [68]. The robot immediately powered down. "Plankton!" I screamed. "Put me down you porous freak!" "Suck my dick you insignificant green turd. How the hell did you manage to build a bulletproof Bull Worm robot?". "Are you forgetting that I WENT TO COLLEGE? Also, Sponge Boob, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy passed away right after I made bail [19]. So I took over the Merma-lair and have been using it to build massive robots ever since, in case they came in handy like today". "What was your plan? Make your way to the Krusty Krab so you can destroy it and steal the.

[Audio] Citizens and soldiers had formed a big crowd and applauded with cheers and whistles. I felt like I was on stage doing my signature mop routine but this time I was cleaning up crime [71]. I could see the Chief standing behind the crowd leaning up against his cruiser while holding an umbrella. I climbed down from the robot and allowed the rain to rinse the blood off my hands. This triggered more Deja'Vu and a dissociation that drowned out all the cheering. I asked myself the same unanswered question I have now. Dreams are supposed to be ambiguous messages from the unconscious so how the hell could have I predicted this? During the disassociation, I heard my nightmare scream: "You can't take me alive!" and then the cleaver knife chopping my heart and badge both in half flooded my mind's eye. The flashbacks ended and I slowly returned to my reality. The sound of the cheers got louder as I became more aware of my surroundings. Plankton was willing to die rather than go back to jail, I thought to myself. Then I looked down at my badge and my heart ached at the thought of parting ways since I got caught disobeying orders. As medics were collecting the bodies, I piped up to the military commanders, "Get fresh tanks to tow the worm well away from town and then disarm the bombs". I walked toward the Chief while taking off my badge. As I went to hand it to him he yelled, "Hold it! Keep your badge on Joe Sponge. I owe you an apology and a thank you. I truly underestimated your capabilities. You are overqualified for your position. Not only could you be a police Chief but you could be a high-ranking soldier. I may still be your boss paying your salary but I'll let you call the shots on handling your cases and whatever else you want to take on. I will only intervene if there are legal issues. Let me give you a lift to your cruiser. You can take your time orchestrating your plan for Rex and only call me if you need my help". "Thanks, Chief. Apology accepted". Before stepping into the Chief's cruiser, I received a phone call "Hey, you've reached Joe Sponge". "Howdy, my Sponge Boo" I grinned once I knew it was Sandy. "I was watching the worm coverage on the news and saw you save the town from Plankton's wrath. You're a true hero". "Thanks, babe. I'm Just doing my job". "You are far too modest because I know damn well that ain't your job. Speaking of which, how is the case going?". "Very smoothly. I can't give out the details but I just have one more mission before closing the case. Maybe then I can take a break and we can spend quality time together". "I'll be sure to fit you into my busy science project schedule. Even though I've been procrastinating trying to come up with a way to help you survive in Texas with limited access to seawater. You would have to find seawater and fill up a bucket". She chuckled. "But carrying a bucket of salt water around is too clunky and spillable and every time you take off a full water helmet there's an inevitable mess. I think I might be able to design a helmet connected to tanks that can draw sea water when you want to take your helmet off to eat and drink then pump it back into your.

[Audio] When we got to the bus Station, I knew I would be recognized so I went around back with the four police officers. The two Spotters went in and began asking the clerk some questions about Rex. When he felt uneasy he tried to dip out the back but we had our guns drawn ready to stop him. We pressed him to disclose the location of Rex's establishment but he was hard to crack even with his job on the line. We frisked him and found that the inside of his trench coat jacket was lined with bags of Crank. The bus clerk happened to be a dealer for Rex. When we got back to the Rock Bottom police station, I was impressed that the Spotters were already almost done with their contraption. I quickly interrogated the dealer and coerced him by promising a reduced bail and prison sentence. He said that it was the only high rise on the outskirts and gave the street names of the intersection. The names sounded foreign as I had never been to the outskirts but I knew I could put it on the sports boat's GPS. He tried to act tough when I tossed him into the holding cell by saying, "Meep, Rex runs the gates dipshits. He decides who gets in and who doesn't meep. Even if you kill him I can guarantee you that you stupid pigs won't get over that fence". We ignored his maniacal laughter and walked away. At that time the two Spotters who stayed behind had already proved their technological skills. They handed me a very small radio and the shorter Spotter bragged. "See meep. We told ya it would be easy". I put the radio to my mouth. "This is Joe Sponge doing a radio check, over". A bunch of fish replied one after the other and some Rock Bottom officers were blowing raspberries. I recognized Tony when he said, "We read you loud and clear pinhead". "Who you calling pinhead?", I said chuckling [69]. I could actually tune into both Rock Bottom and Bikini Bottom officers at the same time. I wouldn't be surprised if Plankton's radio was rigged the same way. I made sure the speaker and wire produced no obvious indentations as I slipped them under my clothes. Then the Spotters let me hop into the driver seat of their sports boat while they filled the rest of this five-seater. I punched the street corner in the GPS and peeled off. When we got close to the vicinity, I parked behind a nearby apartment. Then we got out and hid behind the wall while we spied on the compound. The fence surrounding their complex had barbed wire and signs reading 'Warning Electric'. I watched squads of anchovies, two per group and staggered 10 minutes apart, bring packages in and out of the compound presumably with purchased or stolen buns and money from sales and maybe their protection racket. Some wearing trench coats were obviously lining their pockets with powdered Crank to sell on street corners. It seemed strange that none of them drove boats but then I remembered that they get free bus rides anywhere in the city and Bikini Bottom too. The anchovy working the gate was wearing a mask. One of the Spotters piped up. "You think that asshole bus clerk we apprehended was telling the truth?" "I have never come across a liar when promised a reduced sentence or bail,".

[Audio] I was greeted by a high-tech assembly line with loud buzzes, beeping, grinding, and banging. "Hopefully, this loud noise drowned out our commotion outside", I muttered to myself. Robots and all kinds of machinery were working fast and efficiently scraping off the seeds from the seaweed seed buns. The seeds were heated and ground up into a fine green powder that ended up in plastic packets at the end of the line. The vibrant green hue meant this was good-quality Crankbait. Nothing went to waste. Even the scraped buns were packaged with labels reading 'Plain Buns' and put on a conveyer belt that went to a different room. I bet the Octopus tries to sell them back to grocery stores or spikes them for the Trench Market, I thought to myself. It wasn't until I stepped into the elevator that I realized how nervous I was. I reached for the top floor button but my shaky sweaty hands slipped and I hit two buttons by accident: the top floor and the floor below. The elevator reached the first stop and I knew that I would have to let the doors open and close before ascending to the top floor. But when the elevator doors opened, I washit with a smell worse than Patrick's breath after eating my special Sundae[74]. It was a wide-open dark, grimy, empty parking garage with just one small light. Hacksaws & cleaver knives caked in blood hung on a large standing wooden board. In front of the board was one chair directly under the light& a bucket in front of that. The words on the bucket gave me chills. Itread, 'Fins & Gills'. "Huh? Must be the punishment room", I muttered as the doors closed. Maybe the Hash-Slinging Slasher is the ghost of an Octopus, I thought chuckling to myself. When I got off at the top floor I walked up to the door directly across from the elevator, which looked nicer than the rest, and pushed the buzzer..

[Audio] A nasal voice came over the intercom. "I recognized you the moment you walked through my gate. I was hesitant at first and thought you should just fly with the birds but I'm willing to put up with you if you have a good enough business proposal". The door swung open revealing a wide, fancy, office-style loft. There was a desk in the middle of the room with a walkie-talkie and a computer monitor. My nervousness ramped up. When I stepped inside, my heart started beating like the drumline I had in Squidward's marching band [37]. Because the Octopus was sitting in a chair facing away from me, I could only see the top of his head. He slowly and dramatically swiveled the chair around as I prayed for it to not be Squidward. The first thing I noticed was he was holding a hot cup of tea on a little plate while wearing an expensive-looking shirt. When the chair turned all the way around I could see his unibrow. "Squilliam Fancyson?", I exclaimed quizzically since he was the last Octopus I would expect. "The one and only", he said wiggling his unibrow. "I never got your name the day you waited at my table. But I wanna let you know that I have NOOO hard feelings from you ruining my suit nor embarrassing me in front of my esteemed colleagues" [75]. His conniving smile made me uneasy. "I sincerely apologize about that and the name is Joe Sponge. But what I want to know is why a famous well-respected musician like yourself is willing to be a drug lord when you already have all the money in the world". "Have you ever seen me play? How do you think I got this rich?", he said laughing through his nose. "That whole creative and talented artist crap is a cover-up. I have no artistic talent at all other than putting on the greatest act you, Squidward, and all of Bikini Bottom have ever seen" "Well, the show's over bub". I pulled out my badge and gun. "You're under arrest". This was going to be easy; I don't even need backup, I thought to myself. But Squilliam was still smiling even with my gun in his face. Then he wriggled his eyebrows as if to give a signal. I went to look over my left shoulder but my face turned directly into a sucker punch. I did not get knocked out, luckily, but I was hit hard enough to spin and fall on my back while a front tooth flew out of my mouth. My gun slid across the floor and my radio was now exposed dangling out of my suit jacket. The buff fish that punched me yelled, "Hey! Gimme that", while Squilliam was busy pulling his Tommy gun out from under his desk. I quickly put my radio to my bleeding mouth and pressed the button to reach the officers. I yelled the signal just in time before the buff fish ripped off my radio and put me in a headlock..

[Audio] The clouds were getting darker as the sun was setting. Squilliam wanted to make it hard to see inside so, while wielding his Tommy gun, he quickly pulled a latch that shut off all the lights inside the building. The undercover Bikini Bottom officers quickly surrounded the building, stepped out of their unmarked cruisers with their guns drawn, and used their doors as shields to stand behind. The Rock Bottom officers, who arrived shortly after, did the same. They turned off their sirens but kept their lights on. Red and blue lights were oscillating and lighting up Nancy's face as she pulled her radio to her mouth. "Sponge are you okay? We got the building surrounded. The Rock Bottom police are here too and they've already tossed Rex into their station's holding cell. All the Rock Bottom Spotters reconvened inside the gate and are willing to go in with us at your command. They said you should be on the top floor but there are too many windows and they're too dark and high up for us to know which room you're in". Squilliam peered out the window assessing the police scene below. There was a pause of uneasy silence. Being in a headlock made it hard to see the buff fish's face but I recognized his chest tattoo: A heart with 'MOM' written in the center. "Reg? Aren't you supposed to be bouncing the Salty Spittoon?" I asked quizzically. "And where the hell did you come from?". "I hid behind the door when I opened it for you". "With all this high-tech shit, I thought it opened automatically. Why do you work for Squilliam?". "Just bouncing the Spittoon doesn't pay the bills so Squilliam made me an offer I couldn't refuse. I bounce the Spittoon during the day and I spend my evenings here" Then Tony frantically pulled out his hidden shoulder radio. "Whoever the hell is listening to this right now better not have hurt Joe or I swear I will personally start tying the noose for your execution". Squilliam grabbed the radio off Reg and snarkily replied, "Thanks, but no, thanks, Major Stupidity. You and your partner General Nonsense have no authority to invoke the death penalty [76]. Make sure you can back your threats up before saying them like a moron". Tony responded angrily with an insult that would hurt the average octopus [44]. "Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player. You pretentious, little insignificant artist. Your snivelly creations are worth less than a protozoan's waste!". "Ha. That insult would only work if all my artistry crap wasn't made up to trick all of you, dumbasses. Here's a proper threat that I can back up. If I see you pigs or anyone step in the building, I will pump your dunderhead sponge's brain full of lead. That is if he has any brains". A look of concern and fear struck Nancy's face. The Spotters, who were in earshot of the cop radios, backed away from the door and were as close to the inside of the fence as they could get without touching its electrified wiring. A few officers watching the company's rear saw a delivery squad drop their packages and pull out their guns. "Drop your weapons!", yelled an officer, "or we will shoot!". Rather than complying, they jumped behind a boulder and opened fire on the officers. Good thing most people don't know that boulders can be driven [13]. The officers took cover behind their boats and in unison fired back with their handguns picking off their heads.

[Audio] Without hesitation, they ran out the gate and picked up Tony by grabbing one limb each. They were gonna toss him in a police boat but a crying Nancy yelled, "No! We need the cruisers to shield us. Plus you will become obvious targets. Bring him to your sports boat". They took off running to their boat parked just out of sight. I could not see what happened after this, but the following info came through Tony's radio. When they ran past the anchovy line one yelled, "Hey bring him here meep let's open that wound so his guts spill out". "No meep! He needs to go to the hospital", replied one of the Spotters. "Boss wants him alive for questioning meep. Get the hell over here and cover us while we toss this asshole into the boat meep". The Spotters placed Tony in the back middle seat and one Spotter joined him so he can be tended to. Another Spotter hopped into the driver's seat to get the boat started. The anchovy providing cover piped up suspiciously. "Working for Boss normally doesn't afford you a boat meep never mind a sports boat". The other two Spotters pulled out their staves from the trunk and began bludgeoning the suspicious anchovy. Anchovies on the firing line saw this and fired at the Spotters but they hopped into their sports boat and peeled away towards the Rock Bottom hospital. Once out of the range of gunshot sounds, the Spotter riding shotgun piped up. "Woah meep. There's a couple of anchovies carrying packages on the sidewalk". "They must be a squad heading towards the compound meep", said the driver. "They're none the wiser right now but we can't let them join the line meep." "Meep try to run one over", yelled a Spotter from the back. "No way meep" exclaimed the driver. "I'm not risking committing murder. Plus that will slow our roll meep and Tony needs to get to the hospital with no delays". Then the Spotter riding shotgun came up with an idea. "Meep drive in closer to the sidewalk. I'm gonna sit on the window ledge and take a swing with my staff meep". The driver said, "Well I ain't slowing down meep so you're gonna have to time it like a fastball". "Meep I guess I better choke up", he said chuckling. "Look they stopped meep and one's coming towards us". The two anchovies likely thought they were workers and expected the boat to slow down and deliver a message or package from their boss. The anchovy that got close to them yelled "Whoa!", then took a step back to dodge the drive-by boat but could not dodge the homerun swing that made a loud enough thud he had to be knocked out cold. Then the anchovy's partner began to fire back at the Spotter. The driver yelled. "Get in meep so I can floor it". Another Spotter chimed in, "Your mechanic was sloppy meep. You swung a little late. I'd say that was a deep ball that sliced foul meep". "Meep alright", he said chuckling. "If we see another squad, meep you take the swing". Back at the compound, when the police backup came around front Nancy fired the rest of her clip and dropped into cover waiving her gun. "I'm out of ammo", she yelled. One of the backup officers running to take cover tossed her a magazine and then took a feet-first slide into the side of a cruiser. Reg piped up, "Boss can anyone come in through the back.

[Audio] I had never been part of a boat chase before. Every squad took off behind me mostly in undercover boats while some were in Rock Bottom cruisers. In my rear-view mirror, two Rock Bottom officers put their fins on their heads flabbergasted that their cruiser was gone. "Hey who took our ride?!", shouted a pissed officer blowing raspberries whose voice came through both my personal and cruiser radios. I put the cruiser radio to my mouth to just speak through the Rock Bottom feed. "Sorry but you've been shafted. Call your mayor for a cleanup crew while searching Squilliam's building and let me know if you find anything important. Keep the gates closed so no stragglers can get in and shut down the Crank production line. Also, there should be a walkie-talkie on the top floor in Squilliam's office. Find it and use it because the Rock Bottom Spotters will be on the other end. Tell one to stay at the hospital to keep us up to date with Tony and get the other three to pick you up from the rear of the building to bring you back to the Police station. You five can all get started on transporting those in the holding cells to the Rock Bottom Prison so they can await their trials". There was a long pause. They were probably cursing me out with the mic off for stepping on their toes. "Roger that". They each said while blowing raspberries. Squilliam made several quick turns and was heading straight for the 90-degree border. I kept my right hand on the wheel and stuck my Glock 19 out the window with my left hand. I aimed and fired at his wheels three times but I'm such a bad shot as a lefty that I missed all three times. Squilliam pulled out an Uzi and fired backward with ease since most civilian boats are convertible style. The spray of bullets put several holes in my windshield hitting the passenger seat. Good thing I don't have a partner with me, I thought. As I followed him up this vertical part of the 90-degree border, I unloaded the rest of my clip with my left hand again on his exposed body and head above the seat in an attempt to kill him since he opened fire at me. I missed again but manage to hit his arm tentacle causing him to drop the Uzi. It fell towards me smashing through my front windshield and exited out the back window as it plummeted down the dark cliff. I had to close my eyes as glass shattered all around my face. With my eyes closed and the sound of shattered glass, I had Deja'Vu flashbacks of both my dream and the real-life battle with Plankton's robot. I opened my eyes and fought off the flashbacks to focus on driving. Both my front windshield and back window had been completely obliterated with just a few sharp shards along the edges. He disappeared for a second as he rounded the 90-degree bend at the top of the cliff. I rounded the same bend and caught some air due to my speed then landed back on the road traveling horizontally with Squilliam back in my sights. I looked in my rear-view mirror. A mix of undercover and Rock Bottom cruisers were launching over the border behind me, some of which handled the landing better than others but everyone stayed on course. Cruisers were still making it over the border when Squilliam turned towards.

[Audio] I felt bad because these undercover cruisers were personal home vehicles. "I'm sorry guys", sulked the recruit while sniffling. "I'm really sorry". "Get a hold of yourself Deputy", I responded with a reassuring tone [16]. "I should have specifically called on someone more experienced. You did your best. Get your boat off the road and bring it to a repair shop". Squilliam turned right on Conch which wasn't good because he was now heading back to Rock Bottom. All he needed to do was get to the 90-degree border and he would dip out of sight and then use the speed of the vertical drop to lose us in the darkness of the city. I pulled out my Glock 19 using my right hand since I could shoot through my windowless windshield without the worry of shattered glass. No civilians were in the area so I reloaded another clip and fired several shots until one hit him making him swerve. I was aiming for his head but at least I got his shoulder, I thought. However, he quickly regained control while maintaining hisspeed. "Pull over!" I yelled over my cruiser's loudspeaker "Or I'll shoot you again!". He wasn't pulling over so I unloaded the rest of my clip and hit one of his tentacles on the steering wheel. He swerved again a little harder this time but still maintained speed and control. Then he thought he could lose me by pushing the ink button. This illegal modification was popular back in the day but ever since squid and octopus ink became illegal to sell, only crooked octopi and squid manage to continue using their own supply to evade cops. My tires hit the slick and I spun out of control but quickly regained control using a technique I learned while delivering pizza. I corrected my vehicle at the 180 mark and switched my gears into reverse. I got onto the loudspeaker so that my squads trailing me could hear me. "Backing Up! Backing Up! Backing Up! Backing Up!" [13]. The ink backfired on Squilliam. He thought I would have slid off the road but instead, the less friction sped me up. I was finally close enough for a pit maneuver but the only problem was, I was in reverse. The 90-degree border was now in sight. The tail of my boat was in line with the tail of his boat. I had not performed any pit maneuvers in my career, never mind in reverse. I was face to face with the next officer behind me. It was officer Nancy. Her face had the same shocked expression as when she thought she saw a zombie [52]. I watched her slowly and shakily pull the radio to her mouth. "Sponge, Joe, Sponge do you read me? Over". "I read you loud and clear toots". "If you're about to pull a reverse pit maneuver do not engage. I repeat, do not engage. No officer has ever done this. We don't know what can happen". "What else can we do? He's escaping when he hits that border". "This is way too risky. If we lose him we'll find him again. I promise. Please don't put yourself in unnecessary danger!" Tears filled her eyes. "Nancy, tell Sandy I love her. And that I won't be returning for tea at the treedome. When in doubt, pinky out" [53]. I raised my left hand off the steering wheel and held my pinky high out the window while using my right hand to turn the wheel and hit the tail of Squilliums boat with the.

[Audio] Neptune speaks in a booming voice. "Attention! I know many of you want to interview me and these loyal badge-wearing fish but there is still work to be done. One officer is fighting for his life right now in the hospital and criminals are being transported to prison from the police station as we speak and those officers need help. Not to mention, Squilliam also needs to be transported. Now I still need to uphold my end of the bargain and help transform this depressing Rock Bottom city into the appealing Cloud Nine. Give us some space to do our work and I will continue with interviews at the bus station on the other side of the 90-degree border. After the officers have finished their duties, I invite them to join me at the Rocky Road bar for some free well deserved hard ice creams on me. I think a proper celebration is in order". All the officers get into their respective cruisers and news teams enter their respective vans to all drive down the border. "Joe, come ride passenger on my chariot. Let the others do the leg work with transporting the criminals". "Sounds good, my grace", I respond. Officer Nancy is walking towards her undercover cruiser but I quickly run over and tap her on the shoulder. "Nancy, we have more than enough officers working on transporting these crooks. You deserve to be with your partner. Take your boat to the hospital and check up on him. A Rock Bottom Spotter should be there too. No news from him so far likely means good news. Once visiting hours are over, give him a lift to Rocky Road to meet up with the rest of us. Send Tony my regards", I said nodding my head with concern. "Thanks, Joe. I appreciate that". She gives me another hug and then drives off. I make my way back to Neptune and happily sit next to him at the front of the chariot. The news teams drive down the border and stop at the bus station while all the officers continue driving as they make their way toward the police station. Neptune slaps the reigns and the seahorses gallop towards the border. I watch the road disappear beneath us as we ride straight off the cliff maintaining the same height as the beautiful escarpment. Then we graciously spiral downwards as camera crews capture the gentle landing and fish with microphones run from their vans towards us. "Stand back!" yells Neptune as he strikes the ground with his trident and closes his eyes. The permanent cloud coverage begins to part and light from the full moon pierces through as a starry sky is revealed. Then his booming voice follows. "On Majesty On Mystery On Grace On Debby" [77]. Mystery? I knew I recognized one of them. The seahorse chariot takes off in flight traveling in a tight circular path. Their speed increases drastically and all you can see is a golden blur. Then a golden funnel grows beneath the carriage like the shape of a tornado. The golden chariot tornado begins to sweep down the street. Everything in its path is cleaned up and repaired. Dirt and grime are cleared off the sidewalks. Broken windows of abandoned buildings are repaired leaving behind a path of intact shiny perfection. I chuckled a bit because this has the exact opposite effect of a typical tornado. Eventually, it disappears out of sight. Neptune turns to the {news.

[Audio] Surely enough, when we walk inside there is a band playing made up of birds wearing air helmets and suits similar to Sandy's. The place is packed and hopping with regulars who all stop to stare at Neptune and whisper to each other. Even The Bird Brains stop playing and the lead singer says "Woah ladies and gentleman. Neptune is in the house. Let's show some love to our king". The whole bar erupts as everyone cheers including my comrades who are all sitting around several tables pushed together. Neptune gives a wave of gratitude as we walk towards the tables. Since almost all the officers were already in casual clothes and personal boats, they just had to toss their radios and bulletproof vests in their trunks to transition to the bar. Only the Rock Bottom officers had to go home and change first before arriving right after us. Sandy and I sit down next to the Spotters and Neptune. Sandy looks at the dance floor and then stares back at me. "We should dance Sponge", she suggests cheerfully. "I think we need to get drunk first". I exclaim. "Well YOU do", she says cheekily. "I gotta watch my weight so I'm only having a few". "Suit yourself". Neptune orders rounds of ice cream and I lean over to whisper in his ear "Get a Neapolitan for Sandy". He nods with a smirk and a wink. When the ice cream comes only one officer per squad accepts the cones as the other officers are Designated Drivers. Neptune can theoretically pass out and let his seahorses take him home. We all receive either a chocolate or vanilla cone. Sandy receives her Neapolitan and I play it cool pretending not to notice despite her staring at me with a hard glaring grin. "Oh nice. I see you got a Neapolitan". I say cheekily. She shakes her head while holding her grin. "You remembered my favorite and it's been how long since we've gone out?". "I don't know what you're talking about", I say with a chuckle. Sandy retracts her helmet and while holding her breath, downs the ice cream in one bite then kisses my lips before putting her helmet back on and flushing it. I lick my lips "Wow Neapolitan tastes good" I exclaim. "I see why you ordered it". She bursts out laughing. "You're good at playing dumb and you never fail to crack me up". My seat is facing the entrance and I see Nancy, a Spotter, and Tony walk into the bar. "Oh my God, he's alive!" I shout and rush over as other officers stand up in surprise. "Why didn't you guys inform us right away?". I ask bewildered. "I wanted to make a surprise entrance", exclaims Tony chuckling. "Get over here you bastard", I say as I pull him in for a hug. "Not too hard Joe. I'm still recovering". "Where did you get hit?". "The shithead got me right below the vest in the gut. I'm not even supposed to lick tonight since my bladder is still healing" "Ah that's shitty" I exclaim. "Maybe just have a few". "Oh, yea. I need more than a few to cope with the fact I'm pissing red". He says chuckling. Plus I ain't gonna turn down free alcohol. I'm just glad he didn't hit me below the belt", he says raising his eyebrows. We laugh as we make our way to the conjoined tables. He shakes a bunch of hands with the other officers before sitting down. Neptune keeps ordering more scoops while double-fisting two cones and even orders a large tub of ice cream.

[Audio] Sandy and I head to the bus stop near the bar. "I didn't expect to lick that much", I exclaim while chuckling. "But I'm feeling pretty good right now and don't think it was too much". Sandy responds with a smile. "I'm a little tipsy myself. Since you can last longer without water than I can without air why don't you come back to my place?". "Are you saying you want me to take my water helmet off?". I ask with a suspicious grin. "I'm not gonna say anything", she says with a chuckle, "But you can put two and two together". Normally I keep my water helmet on while at Sandy's so suggesting I take it off is nothing short of an intimate invitation. When the bus arrives, my drunkenness almost makes me miss the coin slot. It is not until we sit down that I recognize the driver. I whisper to Sandy, "Was that the driver who brought you down here?". "No why?". "He drove Rex's gang during the shootout. I need to talk to him". I stand up and stumble towards the front of the bus to reconcile with him as best as a drunk can. "Hey, man. Do you remember me?". I ask. "You look familiar but I can't remember when I saw you", he responds blowing raspberries. "I was one of the officers at the scene when you drove right through the two police boats". A scared look crosses his face. "I am terribly sorry about that. My life was in danger. Am I in trouble?". "No, you were under the gun, literally. I get it. If you did not follow their orders, Rex's gang would have whacked ya. I just wanted to let you know that us officers forgive you and you won't be harassed by their gang ever again". "Thank you for your kindness. Also that's a relief. I wondered why I hadn't heard from them tonight. I just started my night shift". "Did you see our bust on the news?". "I don't have cable". "Let me guess. You have Off Shore?". "No that's too expensive. I just use Cave". "Huh. All young fish like to just stream these days. I don't know why the Chief regulates the news when hardly anybody watches it". "Well, we also don't watch because we think the news is biased, and the fact that you just mentioned the Bikini Bottom police Chief calls the shots proves that we're right", he exclaims while blowing a final raspberry. "That's fair", I say as we approach our stop. Sandy steps off the bus first and I stumble off after her. It's still raining in Bikini Bottom but Sandy never has to worry about getting wet in her scuba suit and I was already sweaty from the bar so I just welcomed the refreshing downpour. We hold hands while walking to her dome which helps me keep my balance. We step inside the chamber, I put on my water helmet before the water level drops then she takes her suit off and carries it inside. "Damn sandy. It's been a while since I've seen you without your suit", I remark slurring my words, "You've lost weight". She chuckles, "Thanks I've been working out". I'm not used to stepping over pipes laid across her lawn. "What's with all the renovations?". I ask. She responds with a confused look on her face. "Oh wow, it truly has been a long time since you've visited. I added an extension pipe to my seawater valve and a few smaller pipes to all my sinks and showers so any sea critter paying.

[Audio] This is the first action I've had that didn't burn a hole in my pocket. I had opportunities to date other girls but I always had my eyes on Sandy and couldn't bear to love anyone else. But with the extra money I was making, I knew that I could afford to help someone put food on their table and satisfy my urges with zero risk of an emotional connection. Don't worry I get frequent doctor's check-ups. I could continue narrating what is happening right now but I'll pass the baton back to the French narrator. "One-hour latair". When we finish at the same time it feels like we are the same entity and it becomes perfectly clear that she is my soul mate. Then she rolls out of bed, puts on a nightgown and lights a cigarette to begin smoking: the land critter equivalent to blowing bubbles. "You know", I say as I put my underwear back on and plop into bed, "Since the Case of the Missing Seaweed Seeds is now closed, I am allowed to reveal all the information". "That sounds fascinating", she responds as she takes a drag and rolls back into bed facing me with the lit cigarette still in her hand. "Tell me your story. I'm all ears", she says cheekily while wiggling her ears and taking another drag. I tell her everything that went down after she left my office that faithful day she was robbed up until we met at the bus station. Then I ask if she's ever been with Rex since Cheeks was on Pearl's list of girls that Rex hooked up with while cheating. She responds with "Nope, that would be kinda weird given the fact that he just turned 18". "That's a good point", I say chuckling. Sandy continues, "She was probably referring to a puffer fish around their age since Cheeks is a common nickname for them amongst young people these days. To be honest I was a virgin until today". She gives me a glaring grin while taking her final drags before dropping her bud in the ashtray. Then she kisses my water helmet goodnight and rolls over to sleep. I climb out of bed and head back downstairs to refill my bucket, just in case my helmet spills in the night, when I realize this is the happiest I have ever been since solving my last case and spending a little bit of time with Sandy. If I can maintain this state by balancing both loves: Sandy and protecting the city, I will have no reason to retire to my old square pants. My mind is finally at peace and full of happy thoughts. My first thought, knowing that I was the one to pop Sandy's acorn, made me grin. I was also comforted by the fact that, according to Neptune, my nightmare should not happen tonight since everything has been resolved. I climb up the stairs and because I can hear Sandy snoring, I gently drop the water bucket and care fully slide back into bed. However, I cannot seem to fall asleep because I am now tossing and turning while feeling nauseous..

[Audio] I thought I was good but I guess I licked too much tonight. I quietly step out of bed but then I have to sprint. I know I won't make it to the downstairs washroom so I open the door of the washroom next to her bedroom without closing it behind me. I figure that I can fix any mess I make and not interfere with her clean-up job. I lean over the toilet, pull off my helmet allowing the water to fall into the toilet bowl, and begin to yak. Now I feel much better. As I lift my head out of the bowl, I am hit with the same awful fishy smell that hit me in Squilliam's elevator. It is so pungent that I throw up again. I flush the toilet then place my helmet in the sink and begin filling it with seawater. I need to figure out where that smell is coming from. I open the shower curtain and the bathtub is packed tight with plenty of severed limbs: arm fins and leg fins, all submerged in water like they are being cleaned. My knees buckle at the sight of this but I regain my balance by grabbing the edge of the tub. Then I hear an angry sultry Texas accent and a gun click behind me. "Y'all weren't supposed to come in here. You weren't supposed to SEE this!". That gun click is too familiar. I turn around and Sandy is standing just outside the doorway prepared to kill me with my own gun. "Do you still love me?", she asks while holding the gun in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. She must have woken up to smoke but grabbed my gun when she saw the bathroom light on. I shut off the seawater tap and quickly put on my helmet without letting too much water spill out. "So this is what you meant by a 'major cleaning'?", I ask in horror. Tears pour down the contours of her gorgeous face like majestically winding rivers. "I have a hankering for fish and chips", she cries while sniffling. This dame has some dark secrets. Her hand is shaking so she tosses the unlit cigarette and uses two hands to steady the gun. I continue. "I'm in a crippling state of shock right now but of course I still love you. I've always loved you. I investigated your robbery incident out of love, not duty", I exclaim walking toward her. "Now how about you stop your waterworks toots and explain where these came from". She stops sniffling to get her words out but the tears keep flowing. "You know, I didn't come up with the name 'Hash-Slinging Slasher'. That was just a badass name y'all fish folk gave me and I kinda like it" she chuckles with a half grin. "I find it sweet that you solved a case inspired by me given the fact that I was never robbed. I just wanted to distract you and give myself an alibi for that Tuesday night". "What were you doing? What really happened?", I ask getting closer. ""Were you not informed about my final kill that day?", she asks quizzically. "No. I don't get slasher reports anymore because I gave up the case to another precinct so I could take care of my mental health. I was on the verge of becoming an alcoholic which is why I asked to try your high-quality air canisters for my fog horn to wake me up during hangovers. Also, if.

[Audio] "Well that's good to know but even though I have no sympathy for pimps, it's against the law to kill people and I actually sympathize with junkies since they're mostly good fish. You just experienced a few bad ones that assaulted you". "Nah I don't buy it. All junkies are scum waiting for an opportunity to sexually assault someone. Plus, I get verbally attacked every day as well. Even though I've heard racial slurs from all walks of life down here, junkies are the most racist varmints who go out of their way to make me feel like shit. They discriminate against me claiming I'm a stupid squirrel or an inferior air breather compared to superior sea critters [80] [81]. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. This is a lot to take in right now Sandy. But I have to ask why kill only on Tuesday nights? Why use a rusty spatula? And how the hell did you manage to leave zero evidence of break-ins?". I ask taking another step closer. "Back in Texas, there was always a special discount for fish and chips on Tuesdays which I took advantage of every week. That's when my cravings happen to be the strongest. Despite killing just the fish folk I deem scum and the fact it ain't cannibalism since I ain't a sea creature, I still feel some remorse. So lately I have been trying my best to quit fish meat and actually some weeks I do. This causes my stock to remain full and is why I no longer murder EVERY Tuesday. However, if I can't control my craving on a Tuesday and my stock is empty, I cave and become the Hash-Slinging Slasher for the night. But as you can see, my stock is quite full so I won't be dangerous anytime soon. As for my break-ins, we squirrels can get into houses by squeezing through vents and the tiniest of air ducts so I don't think your jail bars will hold me back". "Well we've got concrete cells but that doesn't matter, just continue answering my questions". "So for the spatula, I wanted to make it look like a fry cook was responsible, no offense, as a solid alibi. I didn't want to get my good spatula dirty so I grabbed an old rusty one I was no longer using and it made recognizable lesions while I slashed and murdered my victims. Even though I amputated their limbs with a cleaver knife to cut through bone, the fry cook folklore surrounding my murders meant my choice of slashing people to death with a spatula successfully created an alibi". I take a subtle step toward her. "Well that may have been a good alibi but unfortunately it's come crashing down". "Yeah. I was hoping to move to Texas before getting caught" she exclaims. "Well, why were you waiting? Why haven't you fled there already?". "Like I told you before silly. I don't want to go back without you and I haven't designed your helmet and pumps yet. Also Sponge, I should tell you that I was sent to Bikini Bottom as part of a secret underwater mission for a Texas space agency called NASA. They successfully sent a couple of chimps into space, who are now my bosses. They told me to temporarily live down here and utilize undersea resources to make inventions that can help them in space" [82]. I've been under a long contract and got homesick early [59]. But since everyone at the Krusty Krab had shown me.

[Audio] I need to shout to be heard over the sound of the jet stream. "Sandy? Why the hell aren't you grabbing your suit and helmet? Can't you see the water level is gonna rise too high soon?". "I'm not gonna let you arrest me!" "Sandy! Stop fucking around. Grab your God damn suit! NOW!" "NO!" You're gonna drown SANDY!". "Y'all can't take me alive!". Chills run down my spine and through all my limbs as my Deja'Vu flashbacks almost paralyze me with the shock of having to recalibrate my dream visions. I quickly fight it off to assess my dire situation. We are now both in immediate danger. Unless I quickly persuade her to give up the gun and go for her helmet, either she's gonna drown or I'm gonna get shot. "Sandy!", I holler, "if you give me the gun, I promise I won't arrest you. You have to trust me on this. I love you". "Bullshit! You already tricked me and I'm not getting tricked again. I highly doubt you even still love me after faking a marriage proposal". "Sandy! Get your shit together! You know I love you. That's why I bought the ring in the fucking first place. Please, Sandy. My love for you is stronger than my duty. I swear! Don't make this harder than it has to be. Please grab your helmet and suit so we can talk this out". "Your words mean nothing! Your eyes have seen too much! I was a fool to believe that you can love a murderer. I would rather die than go to jail!" "Dammit, Sandy! You already know I hate to see water levels rise above your head. You already KNOW that Sandy. I would rather fly with the birds than watch you suffer. I will fight tooth and nail to make sure you don't painfully drown". I lookdown but I can no longer see my shoes, just my reflection. "The water is ankle-deep. We don't have much time! Sandy!". I can feel my Glock 19 sliding out of my grasp but I have one finger still on the trigger. She will gain control of the gun any second. "SANDY PLEASE!", I tearfully scream and beg. I give up on pulling it into my possession and desperately use all my strength to point the gun at her. The barrel is now in line with her forehead but I close my eyes before pulling the trigger because I can't bear to watch. After the bang she makes no noise, other than her splash landing, meaning her death was instant and painless..

[Audio] My heart is racing out of my chest with agonizing anticipation as I slowly open my eyes which causes me to shout out loud, "Oh my God, fuuh uuh uuhh....". Her blood is on my hands and all around the hole in the wall where the bullet exited. Only some of her brain bits stuck to the wall while most littered the surface of the dark red water around her body slumped against the wall. The water has yet to submerge her face which has a bullet hole between her two gorgeous eyes that are staring back at me like I betrayed her. "...uuck! Jesus Christ!". Those words desperately bellow from my chest to my mouth as a wailing cry of regret while screaming out all the hot breath inside my core leaving behind a cold empty void of existence. Then I drop to my knees weeping with tears as the water raining down on us washes away the blood from my hands and dilutes the blood pool making it fade. I cannot stomach what I just did and feel like throwing up again. Not because of how gross it is but because my stomach is in agonizing emotional pain. Us officers see gross bloody bodies all the time but never people we love especially murdered by our own hands. It's hard to describe the pain of killing your soulmate and even harder still to decide whether such action was even necessary. I just did what my boss warned me to do in a life-or-death situation. But for some reason, it feels like the wrong decision even if I can't grasp what the right decision would have looked like. The ring box is floating on the surface of the rising water so I put my Glock 19 in the back of my underwear waistband and grab hold of the box while opening it up revealing the pearl ring that should be on the furry ring finger of my soul mate. I continue sobbing, as I close the box and pet her tail like I used to do when either one of us was anxious. I begin thinking of the good times we had and thoughts about a possible future. Maybe there's still hope. Could this be another nightmare? Could I still be sleeping next to Sandy? I pinch myself and mutter "wake up". I pinch myself again, but harder this time, and yell "wake-up!". I pinch and twist my flesh one last time so hard that I couldn't tell whether the tears flooding my eyes were from my physical or emotional pain. "WAAAAKE UP!", I scream. I begin to weep as I now realize that the final stages of my dream are simply playing out in real life. I thought I put all the pieces of the puzzle together. I thought it was resolved. Foolish of me to make such a dumb assumption when I had yet to get a good night's sleep without my reoccurring nightmare. I just used what was happening around me as an excuse to fit my assumptions like forcing two wrong pieces of a puzzle together just to make them fit. I put myself off guard allowing my unconscious to sucker punch me in the face. I should put a bullet in it to end things. "Screw it", I mutter. I'll be avoiding my unconscious anyways since I won't be getting an ounce of sleep tonight. The water level eventually rises to the point where it completely submerges.

[Audio] This seals the deal of my subliminal fate but garnishes new conscious intentions. Now my heart was not the only thing broken. But my mind is set. I quickly put on my shirt, pants, and suit jacket then dial the Chief while scooping up the pieces of my badge. I left a voicemail saying "Chief, fuck. I'm done with this job. My duty pushed me to my breaking point so I'm retiring early. I killed the Hash-Slinging Slasher and will send you photo evidence shortly. Make sure the news reports that the slasher is dead but that is all the people need to know. Don't reveal who it was. Also, I wanna make some managerial changes. I'm giving the fry cook a raise to the special constable and Krusty Krab P.I. position which I will train him for. I will also give Squidward a promotion to manager and Sargent so he can run the restaurant while being trained by you. They will stick to restaurant duties until they get more skilled with a gun. All I need is to return to my simple fry cook gig. I'll also take on the Cashier job since I've done both positions at the same time before and have the training [12]. I want to challenge myself while doing the two jobs I love. Lastly, you won't be calling me Joe Sponge for long". I hang up the phone and take photos of Sandy's body and the bathtub full of limbs which I send to the Chief's cell. I've become numb to the smell at this point. I call a coroner and tell them about the body. I open Sandy's medicine cabinet and see a package of razors. I've been putting off trimming this week. But a clean shave has been needed for half a decade. I apply soap on my face and get to work. The ambulance arrives as I'm patting a towel on my hairless face. I open both doors of the dome without the need for the entrance drain. The paramedics and coroner walk to the body with me. I explain what happened then take a slow walk of shame and self-hate to the Krusty Krab. Since I wasn't gonna get a lick of sleep, I hop into my cruiser to patrol both Bikini Bottom and Rock Bottom, well Cloud Nine. I fearlessly drive down the 90-degree border in my Bikini Bottom marked police boat since there is no need to go undercover. Rock Bottom looks way better now refurbished as Cloud Nine since it is much cleaner and the sky is permanently clear. Most gang workers, anchovies and girls, are good fish and will likely clean up their act and seek regular jobs now that we have arrested their superiors. It's expected that every city around here will still have a few straggling lone-wolf crooks and boss-less shoals committing petty crimes just to get by. Now that the police force down here is no longer paying for protection and under the gun of a drug lord, they can finally do their job and bust all crooks. That includes drug dealers and pimps trying to still make money from addicts that don't go to rehab and girls who don't successfully flee to the new shelters respectively. Twilight now fills the sky as the sun begins to rise..