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How many shots would it take to hook up with my friends as men & uglier men  

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A person on a boat

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Kinda  cool  kinda  quiet – likes to read BOOKS ?! And asks you questions about yourself at the bar <3 Smells like beef  tho Seems respectful idk Has a headboard 3.5 shots ?

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Larps  on the weekends Likes anchovies Idolizes Mark Zuckerberg Wouldn’t touch u with a ten foot pole  sry  Laurence

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A person wearing a graduation cap and gown

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Looks like he would buy me flowers or help me at Home Depot but in a nice way  Kinda  into the facial hair (except the under chin scruff  tf  take care of yourself Martin) but Martin probably has a dark hairy chest and back. Hairy toes too Is wearing Crocs Has boogers look @ that big  shnauzzzzz 6 shots

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Absolutely no comment Hoover is a sweet grandfather with a wife named Nancy. I would NEVA.  But I WOULD buy him a nice Whiskey drink for himself  

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A person smiling and holding a computer

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I probably had a crush in you in Middle School Band  tho  idk  Def played the saxophone – all the hotties were on sax

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Creepy Young Life Leader or has a van that he lives out of… kinda  stinky Gamer boy – loves  Mindcraft  and his cat named  Foopy .  Eyes staring deep into my soul scary 11 shots

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Not  gonna  lie Liam hot damn Would 100% smash I have a crush on you in a David  Archuletta  way Probably really empathetic and cares a lot about the environment and hates Greg Abbot <3  3 shots  just to take the edge off Omg

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Is  bffs  with Mathias and Lawrence I don’t hate, honestly I feel like we would have a really sweet conversation at the bar about your job working as a social worker Gets  kinda  creepy after  tho  and follows u around the bar and tries to buy you limoncello shots  8 shots

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Still thinks that being in a good fraternity in college is a personality trait Kinda  toxic Weird ears Thinks liking big bootie and the Office are cool and niche Would I smash myself? Yes. 1 shot

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HAS A SKINCARE ROUTINE Was on the IU swim team in college so he’s cut  asf Lowkey toxic as  fak  bc he pulls mad bitches Is a model on the side but also works at Oracle (basic bitch) -1 shot. Sober as a gopher

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It really couldn’t get worse Loves the bee movie Smells like pea soup Has light sabers in his room and on the 4 th  of May always posts “May the 4 th  be With You”. Horrifying Calling the police. No shots only evacuation

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30 year old divorced daddy Justin Timberlake “Justified” Album energy –  kinda  hot Goes on backpacking trips in Utah to clear his mind – wow I mean wow Puts curl cream in to keep the ladies on deck  Smells AMAZING Self care king DRIVES A BRONCO 2 shots

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Tried to explain blockchain to me at the bar Has tissues in his pocket Is indeed a virgin  Smells like old people Solitare  KING 9 shots

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A person sitting at a table

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CUUUUTIE Has a soft spot for Maddie  Pruit   Listens to Stonks podcasts but is going into medicine. Absolute king. Jeep daddy Wait why am I blushing he’s cute Why is he looking at me like that ugh 3 shots ( kinda  nervous  aaah )

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Loves Hamilton Gets pedicures but in a cool way idk Wears Lulu joggers Smooth  asf Looks short but is actually 6 foot 1 1 shot if  hes  over 21 idk

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Gibby  vibes Eats a lot of red meat Patrick Star vibes honestly Developing a receding hairline Sweaty butt crack 10 shots

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Makes thirst trap  tiktoks  grinding on the floor  ew   tf Wears a gold chain Lock screen is Megan Fox from the VMAs Has one of those light up strobe vapes Still hot  tho  in a weird Miami way 2 shots

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Breaking bad vibes no sorry I failed here

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Creepy Jersey Shore energy but knows how to get bitches somehow SHORT KING (a 5 foot 2 man with 6 foot 5 energy) Drinks  FourLocos  on casual nights Major Promoter Energy 1 gold  FourLoco  SHOTGUNNED followed by 4 5paces tequila shots

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Natasha is Alex’s girlfriend and saw you shotgun the  fourloco  and knows  whats  about to go down. She’s protective  asf  and you’re about to get in a bar fight I mean look at her  shes  almost 2 feet taller than Alex You’re Fucked ( shes   kinda  into threesomes  tho  so if you’re into that 12 shots)

How many shots would it take to hook up with my friends as men & uglier men 

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