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Page 10 of 15 because they consciously or subconsciously per- ceive it as ‘too hard’. LEARNING TO USE REBT To practise REBT it is important to have a good understanding of irrational thinking. This can be gained by a critical reading of the substantial lit- erature available. The use of REBT in the interview situation is best learned by attending a training course (the Primary Certificate in REBT program is the usual starting point). It can also be observed by reading verbatim records of interviews or from audio or video tapes of interviews conducted by REBT practitioners. The most effective way to learn how to help clients uncover and dispute irrational beliefs is to practice REBT on oneself, for example by using written ‘self-analysis’ exercises (see the last page of this article for an example). _________________________________________________________ READING LIST There are hundreds of books and articles based on REBT. Here is a selection. Self-Help Books (Many of the self-help books listed here are available in New Zealand bookshops. Some would need to be ordered). Bernard, M. E. (1986). Staying Rational In an Irrational World: Albert Ellis and Rational- Emotive Therapy. New York. Lyle Stuart Calabro, L. E. (1991). Living with Disability. New York. Institute for Rational-Emotive Therapy Clark, L. (1995). SOS Help for Parents: A Practi- cal Guide for Handling Common Everyday Be- havior Problems (2nd Edition). Berkeley, CA. Parents Press Clark, L. (2001). SOS Help for Emotions: Manag- ing Anxiety, Anger and Depression. Berkeley, CA. Parents Press Cooper, C.L. & Palmer, S. (2000). Conquer Your Stress. London. Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development Dryden, W. (2001). Reason to change: A rational emotive behaviour therapy (REBT) workbook. Hove. Brunner/Routledge Dryden, W. (1996). Overcoming Anger. London. Sheldon Press Dryden, W. (1997). Overcoming Shame. London. Sheldon Press Dryden, W. (1998). Overcoming Jealousy. Lon- don. Sheldon Press Dryden, W. & Gordon, J. (1993). Beating the Comfort Trap. London. Sheldon Press Dryden, W. & Matweychuk, W. (2000). Over- coming Your Addictions. London. Sheldon Press Ellis, A. (1972). How to Master Your Fear of Fly- ing. New York. Institute for Rational Living Ellis, A. (1977). Anger - How to Live With and Without It. New York. Carol Publishing Group Ellis, A. (1988). How To Stubbornly Refuse To Make Yourself Miserable About Anything. New York. Lyle Stuart Ellis, A. & Abrams, M. (1994). How to Cope With a Fatal Illness: the rational management of death and dying. New York. Barricade Books, Inc. Ellis, A. & Harper, R. A. (1975). A New Guide to Rational Living. Hollywood. Wilshire Book Co. Ellis, A. & Lange, A. (1994). How to Keep Peo- ple From Pushing Your Buttons. New York. Cita- del Press Ellis, A., Abrams, M. & Dengelegi, L. (1992). The Art and Science of Rational Eating. Fott Lee, NJ. Barricade Books Ellis, A., Wolfe, J. & Moseley, S. (1980). How to Raise an Emotionally Healthy, Happy Child. Hol- lywood. Wilshire Book Co Froggatt, W. (1997). GoodStress: The life that can be yours. Auckland. HarperCollins Froggatt, W. (2003). Choose to be Happy: Your step-by-step guide (Second Edition). Auckland. HarperCollins Froggatt, W. (2003). FearLess: Your guide to overcoming anxiety. Auckland. HarperCollins Hauck, P. (1977). Making Marriage Work. Lon- don. Sheldon Press Hauck, P. (1981). How To Stand Up For Yourself. London. Sheldon Press Hauck, P. (1983). How to Love and be Loved. London. Sheldon Press.
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Page 11 of 15 Hauck, P.A. (1992). Overcoming the Rating Game: Beyond Self-Love - Beyond Self-Esteem. Louisville, KY. Westminster/John Knox Jakubowski, P., & Lange, A.J. (1978). The Asser- tive Option: Your Rights & Responsibilities. Champaign,Il. Research Press Klarreich, S. H. (1990). Work Without Stress. New York. Brunner/Mazel Knaus, W. (2002). The Procrastination Work- book. Oakland, CA. New Harbinger Publications Oliver, R. & Bock, F. (1987). Coping with Alz- heimer's: A Caregiver's Emotional Survival Guide. North Hollywood. Wilshire Book Company Robb, H. (1988). How to Stop Driving Yourself Crazy with Help from the Bible. New York. Insti- tute for Rational Emotive Therapy Robb, H.B. (1988). How to Stop Driving Yourself Crazy With Help From the Bible. New York. In- stitute for Rational-Emotive Therapy Robin, M.W. & Balter, R. (1995). Performance Anxiety. Holbrook, Massachusetts. Adams Publishing Steinberg, D. & Dryden, W. (2003). How to Stick to a Diet. London. Sheldon Press Wolfe, J.L. (1992). What to Do When He Has a Headache: How to rekindle your man's desire. London. Thorson's Professional Literature (Many, but not all, of the books and journal articles listed are available through the New Zealand Library Interloan system). REBT practice in general Bond, F.W. & Dryden, W. (2002). Handbook of Brief Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Chichester. John Wiley & Sons Ltd. DiGiuseppe, R. (1996). The nature of irrational and rational beliefs: Progress in Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. 14(1), 5-28 Dryden, W. (1995). Brief Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. Chichester. John Wiley & Sons. Dryden, W. (1996). Inquiries in Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. London. Sage Publications. Dryden, W. (1999). Rational Emotive Behavioural Counselling in Action. London. Sage Publications. Dryden, W. (2001). Reason to change: A rational emotive behaviour therapy (REBT) workbook. Hove. Brunner/Routledge. Dryden, W. (2002). Fundamentals of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy: A Training Hand- book. London. Whurr. Dryden, W. (2003). Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy: Theoretical developments. Brunner- Routledge. Ellis, A. & Dryden W. (1997). The Practice of REBT (Second edition). London. Free Association Books. Ellis, A. (1999). Early theories and practices of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy and how they have been augmented and revised during the last three decades. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 17(2), 69-93 Ellis, A. (2003). Reasons why Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is relatively neglected in the professional and scientific literature. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. 21,3/4: 245-252 Ellis, A. (2004). Why Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy is the Most Comprehensive and Effective Form of Behaviour Therapy. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 22:2, 85-92 Ellis, Gordon, Neenan & Palmer. (1997). Stress Counselling: A Rational Emotive Behavioural Approach. London. Cassell. Neenan, M. & Dryden, W. (2001). Learning from Errors in Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. London. Whurr. Nelson-Jones, R. (1999). Towards Cognitive- Humanistic Counselling. Counselling. 10(1), 49-54 Palmer, S. (2000). The Future of REBT in the New Millenium. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist. 8(1), 3-4 Still, A. & Dryden, W. (2003). Ellis and Epictetus: Dialogue vs. method in psychotherapy. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 21:2, 37-56 Ziegler, D.J. (2002). Freud, Rogers, and Ellis: A comparative theoretical analysis. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 20(2) Special issues in REBT Ellis, A. (2003). Discomfort Anxiety: A New Cognitive-Behavioral Construct. Journal of Ra- tional-Emotive & Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. 21:3/4, 183-202 Garfield, S. L. (1995). The Client-Therapist Rela- tionship in Rational-Emotive Therapy. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 13(2), 101-116.
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Page 12 of 15 Johnson, W. B. & Nielson, S. L. (1998). Rational- Emotive Assessment with Religious Clients. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 16(2), 101-123 Kwee, M. (1998). The Interface Between Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) and Zen. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 16(1), 5-43 Nelson-Jones, R. (1999). Towards Cognitive- Humanistic Counselling. Counselling. 10(1), 49-54 Reinhard, J. (2000). Limitations of Mental Health Case Management: A Rational Emotive and Cog- nitive Therapy perspective. J. of Rational- Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 18(2), 103-118 Weinrach, S.G. et al. (1995). Rational emotive be- haviour therapy after Ellis: Predictions for the fu- ture. J. of Mental Health Counseling. 17, 413-427 Ziegler, D.J. (1999). The Construct of Personality in Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) Theory. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behaviour Therapy. 17(1), 19-32 Ziegler, D.J. (2000). Basic Assumptions Concern- ing Human Nature Underlying Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) Personality Theory. J. of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 18(2), 67-85 Ziegler, D.J. (2002). Freud, Rogers, and Ellis: A comparative theoretical analysis. Journal of Ra- tional-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 20(2) Ziegler, D.J. (2003). The concept of psychologi- cal health in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 21:1, 21-36 Specific modalities Anderson, J.P. (2002). Executive Coaching: Some comments from the field. Journal of Rational- Emotive & Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. 20:3/4, 223-234 Dryden, W. (1995). Brief Rational Emotive Be- haviour Therapy. Chichester. John Wiley & Sons. Dryden, W. & Neenan, M. (Eds.). (2002). Ra- tional Emotive Behaviour Group Therapy. Lon- don. Whurr. Free, M. L. (1999). Cognitive Therapy in Groups: Guidelines and resources for practice. Chiches- ter, England. John Wiley & Sons Ltd. Johnson, B.W., Huwe, J.M. & Lucas, J.L. (2000). Rational Mentoring. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 18(1), 39-54 Kodish, S.P. (2002). Rational Emotive Behaviour Coaching. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behaviour Therapy. 20:3/4, 235-246 Mas-Bag. (2000). REBT in a therapeutic commu- nity: REBTC. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 18:3, 154-164 Mathews, T. J. (2000). The Cross and the Chris- tian Client. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist. 8(1), 10-14 Palmer, S., Ellis, A., Gordon, J. & Neenan, M. (1998). Group Stress Counselling. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist. 6(1), 4-17 Woods, P.J. & Ellis, A. (1996). Supervision in Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 14(2), 135-151 Techniques Beal, D.; Kopec, A. Marie & DiGiuseppe, R. (1996). Disputing Client's Irrational Beliefs. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 14(4), 215-229 Bernard, M. E. & Wolfe, J. L. (2000). The REBT Resource Book for Practitioners - Second edition. New York. Albert Ellis Institute. Borcherdt, B. (2002). Humor and its contributions to mental healh. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. 20:3/4, 247-257 Macaskill, N. D. (1996). Improving Clinical Outcomes in REBT/CBT: The Therapeutic Uses of Tape-Recording. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. 14(3), 199-207 Neenan, M. & Dryden, W. (1996). The Intricacies of Inference Chaining. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. 14(4), 231-243 Neenan, M. and Dryden, W. (1999). When laddering and the downward arrow can be used as adjuncts to inference chaining in REBT assessment. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 17(2), 95-104 Nelson-Jones, R. (1998). Using the Whiteboard in Lifeskills Counselling. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist. 6(2), 77-88 Palmer, S. & Neenan, M. (1998). Techniques and Strategies: Double-Imagery Procedure. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist. 6(2), 89-92 Specific applications of REBT Addis, E. & Bernard, M. (2002). Marital Adjust- ment and Irrational Beliefs. J. of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 20(1), 3-13 Aeschleman, S. R. & Imes, C. (1999). Stress In- oculation Training for Impulsive Behaviours in Adults with Traumatic Brain Injury. Journal of.
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Page 13 of 15 Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behaviour Ther- apy. 17(1), 51-65 Aguilar N. (1997). Counseling the patient with chronic illness: strategies for the health care pro- vider. J Am Acad Nurse Pract. 9(4), 171-5 Altrows, I.F. (1995). The Practice of Rational Emotive and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy with Offenders. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behavior Therapy. 13(4), 225-241 Altrows, Irwin F. (2002). Rational Emotive and Cognitive Behavior Therapy with Adult Male Of- fenders. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behaviour Therapy. 20:3/4, 201-222 Balter, R. & Unger, P. (1997). REBT Stress Man- agement with Patients with Chronic Fatigue Syn- drome. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 15(3), 223-230 Beal, D. & DiGiuseppe, R. (1998). Training su- pervisors in Rational Emotive Behaviour Ther- apy. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy. 12, 127-137 Bernard, M. E. (Ed.). (1997). Special Issue: Self- Acceptance and Beyond: How to Feel Good With- out Rating Yourself. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. 15(1), (all) Bishop, F.M. (2001). Managing Addictions: Cog- nitive, Emotive, and Behavioral Techniques. Northvale, NJ. Jason Aronson. Bishop, F.M. (2000). Helping clients manage ad- dictions with REBT. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 18(3), 127-151 Blackburn, J. (2001). Anger, Chronic Pain and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. The Ra- tional Emotive Behaviour Therapist. 9(1), 23-28 Byrne, J. (2002). Some innovations in the teach- ing of unconditional self-acceptance and uncondi- tional other-acceptance. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist. 10(1), 22-36 Calabro, L. E. (1997). "First Things First": Maslow's Hierarchy as a Framework for REBT in Promoting Disability Adjustment During Reha- bilitation. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behaviour Therapy. 15(3), 193-213 Chadwick, P. Birchwood, M. & Trower, P. (1996). Cognitive Therapy for Delusions, Voices and Paranoia. Chichester. Wiley. Chen, C. P. (1995). Counselling Applications of RET in a Chinese Cultural Context. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 13(2), 117-129 Cowan, D., & Brunero, S. (1997). Group therapy for anxiety disorders using rational emotive be- haviour therapy. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Mental Health Nursing. 6, 164-168 DiGiuseppe, R. & Froh, J. J. (2002). What cogni- tions predict state anger?. Journal of Rational- Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 20(2), 133-150 DiMattia, D. & Ijzermans, T. (1996). Reaching Their Minds: A trainer's manual for rational ef- fectiveness training. New York. Institute for Ra- tional-Emotive Therapy. Flett, G.L., Madorsky, D., Hewitt, P.L. & Heisel, M.J. (2002). Perfectionism Cognitions, Rumina- tion, and Psychological Distress. J. of Rational- Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 20(1), 33-48 Friedberg, R.A., Miller, R., Perymon, A., Bot- toms, J. & Aatre, G. (2004). Using a Session Feedback form in Cognitive Therapy with Chil- dren. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 22:3, 219-230 Froggatt, W. (2002). The Rational Treatment of Anxiety: An outline for cognitive-behavioural in- tervention with clinical anxiety disorders. Hast- ings. Rational Training Resources. Greaves, D. (1997). The Effect of Rational- Emotive Parent Education of the Stress of Moth- ers of Young Children with Down Syndrome. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 15(4), 249-267 Horvath, A.T. & Velten, E. (2000). Smart Recov- ery: Addiction recovery from a cognitive- behavioural perspective. Journal of Rational- Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 18(3), 181-191 Johnson, M. & Kazantzis, N. (2004). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Chronic Pain: Strategies for the Successful Use of Homework Assign- ments. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 22:3, 189-218 Jone, J. & Trower, P. (2004). Irrational and Evaluative Beliefs in Individuals with Anger Problems. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behaviour Therapy. 22;3, 153-170 Kinsella, P. (2002). Food for thought: REBT and other approaches to obesity. The Rational Emo- tive Behaviour Therapist. 10(1), 37-44 Kopec, A. M. (1995). Rational Emotive Behav- iour Therapy in a Forensic Setting: Practical Is- sues. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behavior Therapy. 13(4), 243-253.
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Page 14 of 15 Malkinson, R. (1996). Cognitive Behavioural Grief Therapy. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. 14(3), 155-171 Misc. (2004). Perfectionism: Special Issure of Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. 22:4 Moller, A.T., Nortje, C. & Helders, S.B. (1998). Irrational Cognitions and the Fear of Flying. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 16(2), 135-148 Nauth, L. L. (1995). Power and control in the male antisocial personality. Journal of Rational- Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 13(4), 215-224 Neenan, M. (1996). Tackling Suicidal Clients. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist. 4(1), 8-11 Neenan, M. (2001). Understanding and Overcom- ing Procrastination. The Rational Emotive Behav- iour Therapist. 9(1), 17-22 Nucci, C. (2002). The Rational Teacher: Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy in teacher education. J. of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 20(1), 15-32 Olevitch, B.A. (1995). Using Cognitive Ap- proaches with the Seriously Mentally Ill: Dialogue across the barrier. Westport, Connecticut. Praeger. Palmer, S. (2000). Coping Imagery for Flying Stress. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Thera- pist. 8(1), 24-29 Palmer, S. & Burton, T. (1996). Dealing with Peo- ple Problems at Work. Maidenhead. Mcgraw-Hill. Rieckert, J. & Möller, A. (2000). Rational-Emotive Behaviour Therapy in the Treatment of Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse. J. of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 18(2), 87-102 Seasock, J. P. (1995). Identification of Adolescent Sex Offenders: A REBT Model. Journal of Ra- tional-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 13(4), 261-271 Secker, L., Kazantzis, N. & Pachana, N. (2004). Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Older Adults: Practical Guidelines for Adapting Therapy Struc- ture. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behaviour Therapy. 22:2, 93-110 Shannon, S. D. & Allen, T. W. (1998). The Effec- tiveness of a REBT Training Program in Increas- ing the Performance of High School Students in Mathematics. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. 16(3), 197-209 Rob, H. B. (2001). Can Rational Emotive Behav- ior Therapy Lead to Spiritual Transformation? Yes, sometimes!. J. of Rational-Emotive & Cog- nitive-Behavior Therapy. 19(3), 153-161 Robb, H.B. (2002). Practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Theory and Religious Clients. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. 20:3/4, 169-200 Sapp, M. (1996). Irrational beliefs that can lead to academic failure for African American middle school students who are academically at risk. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive- Behavior Therapy. 14(2), 123-134 Shortall, T. (1996). Cognitive-behavioural treat- ment of recurrent headache. The Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist. 4(1), 27-33 Shortall, T. (1996). A Consideration of the role of validation in the application of REBT to Personal- ity Disorder Clients. The Rational Emotive Be- haviour Therapist. 4(1), 12-17 Smith, R.R. & Lombardo, V.S. (1995). Rational Cognitive Therapy with Public Offenders. Jour- nal of Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 13(4), 255-260 Whitford, R. & Parr, V. (1995). Uses of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy with Juvenile Sex Offenders. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behavior Therapy. 13(4), 273-282 Wilde, J. (1995). Anger Management in Educa- tion: Alternatives to Student Violence. Lancaster, Penn. Technomic Publishing Co. Wilde, J. (2001). Interventions for Children with Anger Problems. J. of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behavior Therapy. 19(3), 191-197 Wolfe, J.L. (1995). Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy Women's Groups: A Twenty Year Retro- spective. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behavior Therapy. 13(3), 153-170 Yankura, J. & Dryden, W. (Eds.). (1997). Special Applications of REBT: A therapist's casebook. New York. Springer Publishing Company. Zaborowski, B. (1997). Adjustment to Vision Loss and Blindness: A process of reframing and retraining. Journal of Rational-Emotive & Cogni- tive-Behaviour Therapy. 15(3), 215-221 Obtaining REBT literature As indicated above, some books (mainly the self- help ones) can be purchased in New Zealand bookshops. Some professional books and many articles are available through library interloan..
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Page 15 of 15 To purchase professional books, you can either: • order through a book retailer who will obtain the item from the publisher • purchase via the internet – some of the more popular books are to be found at The Rational BookShop at: http://www.rational.org.nz To subscribe to the Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, contact: Springer Dis- tribution Center GmbH, Customer Service Journals, Haberstr. 7, 69126 Heidelberg, Germany Tel: +49- 6221-345-0 Fax: +49-6221-345-4229 ww.springeronline.com subscriptions@springer-sbm.com REBT on the Internet There are numerous internet sites related to REBT. A good place to start would be the New Zealand Centre for Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy website at: http://www.rational.org.nz (go to the ‘Links’ page). _________________________________________________________ Rational Self-Analysis REBT emphasises teaching clients to be their own therapists. A useful technique to aid this is Rational Self- Analysis which involves writing down an emotional episode in a structured fashion. Here is an example of such an analysis using the example described at the beginning of this article: A. Activating Event. The event: Friend passed me in the street without acknowledging me. My inferences about this event: He’s ignoring me and doesn’t like me. I could end up without friends for ever. I’m not acceptable as a friend. C. Consequence (how I reacted): Feelings: worthless, depressed. Behaviour: avoiding people generally. B. Beliefs (My evaluative thinking about the ‘A’): 1. It would be terrible to end up without friends for ever. 2. Because I’m not acceptable as a friend I must be worthless as a person. 3. To feel worthwhile and be happy, I must be liked and approved by everyone significant to me. (core belief) E. New Effect (how I would prefer to feel/behave): Disappointed but not depressed. D. Disputing (new rational beliefs to help me achieve this new reaction): 1. There’s nothing to prove I’ll never have friends again – but, even if this did happen, it would be un- pleasant rather than a source of ‘terror’. 2. There’s no proof I’m not acceptable as a friend – but even if I were, this proves nothing about the total ‘me’, or my ‘worthwhileness’. (And, anyway, what does ‘worthwhile’ mean?). 3. Love and approval are highly desirable. But, they are not absolute necessities. Making them so is not only illogical, but actually screws me up when I think they may not be forthcoming. Better I keep them as preferences rather than demands. F. Further Action (what I’ll do to avoid repeating the same irrational/thoughts reactions): 1. Go and see my friend, check out how things really are. 2. If he doesn’t want me as a friend, I’ll start looking elsewhere. 3. Re-read the handout on catastrophising and self-rating. 4. Challenge my irrational demand for approval by doing one thing each day (for the next week) that I would normally avoid doing because of fear it may lead to disapproval. Copyright Notice: This document is copyright © to the author (2005). Single copies (which must include this notice) may be made for therapeutic or training purposes. To use in any other way, please contact: Wayne Froggatt, PO Box 2292, Stortford Lodge, Hastings, New Zealand. Fax 64-6-870-9964. E-mail: wayne@rational.org.nz Comments are welcomed..