doctor

[Audio] 80, Currie St, Adelaide, South Australia 5000 https://edubenchmark.com/oet-writing-correction#pricing www.facebook.com/pteoetielts 30/04/1997 Emergency Register Emergency Department Royal Melbourne Hospital Flemington Road Parkville, 3052 Dear Doctor, RE: Mr. Derek Romano Thank you for seeing Mr. Derek Romano, a 46-years-old insurance clerk, who is diagnosed with an acute myocardial infarction and required urgent management. He is a heavy smoker and he does insufficient exercise. He has a past history of high blood pressure. Moreover, his father was died from acute myocardial infarction at the age of 48. On initial presentation on 20/04/1997, he found to had high blood pressure (150/100 mmhg) with regular pulse (80 b/min). In addition, he was overweight (98 kg). Consequently, he was advised to reduce his weight, stop smoking and review the blood pressure within a month. He was prescribed nifedipine 20 mg daily with blood test because of his persistent rise of blood pressure. On 23/04/1997, he attended again with mild epigastric pain after eating and walking which radiates retrosternally. Furthermore; his blood pressure was found to high because of his non compliance with medication. Therefore, nifidipine was increased to 20 mg twice daily in addition with Mylanta. After one week, he presented as a distressed condition due to crushing retrosternal chest pain with sweating and exertional dyspnea. His blood pressure was 160/100 with pulse rate 64 b/min and he has a crepitation at the lung base. ECG confirms the diagnosis of acute inferior myocardial infarction. Accordingly, he was given oxygen, anginine sublingually, morphine 2.5 mg and maxolon 10 mg intravenously stat. I would appreciate your immediate attention to this patient. Yours sincerely, Dr Fahmida Report Word length 228 Comments The letter is not concise as it is a bit long. In terms of language, it contains issues pertaining to tenses, punctuation and word choice. On the bright side, the content of the letter includes relevant information and the style is formal and suitable for the official letter genre. It is also organized logically in appropriate paragraphs. Nevertheless, future improvements are required. Grade C Advice 1. Revise grammar and sentence formation. 2. Improve word choice. 3. Try to finish your letter in 200 words. 4. Always proofread your letter after finishing it. Comment [bnchmrk1]: year Comment [bnchmrk2]: was Comment [bnchmrk3]: requires Comment [bnchmrk4]: of Comment [bnchmrk5]: was Comment [bnchmrk6]: have Comment [bnchmrk7]: also Comment [bnchmrk8]: Three days later Comment [bnchmrk9]: was radiating Comment [bnchmrk10]: , Comment [bnchmrk11]: be Comment [bnchmrk12]: in Comment [bnchmrk13]: had Comment [bnchmrk14]: confirmed Comment [bnchmrk15]: faithfully.